


The Peraltiago Parenting Experience

by amyscascadingtabs



Series: the santiago-peralta family stories [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Amy becomes a sergeant a bit later in this because I accidentally forgot about it, Babies, Baby Fic, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, First Time Parents, Flashbacks, Fluff, Future Fic, I love writing these two and I love writing babies, Implied Sexual Content, Kid Fic, Married Couple, Married Life, Parenthood, Pregnancy, SO MUCH FLUFF, This is just really soft okay, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, naturally this is what happens, peraltiago baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyscascadingtabs/pseuds/amyscascadingtabs
Summary: He’s seen and held babies before, knows how tiny and innocent they look when they’re that brand-new to the outside world, knows how they bring up something deep inside you that makes it impossible to see them sleeping without having your heart ache slightly. Those kids have belonged to other people, though. This is different. Even though he’s had plenty of time to prepare and get used to the thought of something fifty percent him and fifty percent Amy, not even Terry’s two hour long speech on how much he cried holding Cagney and Lacey for the first time could have begun to prepare him for how tightly this baby has him wrapped around her finger.Jake and Amy become parents and everything is soft and fluffy and cute.





	1. tiny

**Author's Note:**

> I really need these two to become parents someday, but until then here's my own take of what it might look like. Prepare for cuteness and fluff overload.

Jake Peralta hasn’t slept in over 24 hours. He can feel the exhaustion coursing through his veins and his eyelids growing heavier, yet somehow sleep is the very last thing on his mind right now. To be completely honest, he doubts whether he will ever feel the need to again. There are things of infinitely higher importance demanding his attention now.

He should be sleeping. It’s been recommended to him, even. Their room is dark except for a nightlight in the window that illuminates the spot where he sits in a pathetic excuse for an armchair, its cushioning so poor his back is screaming at him. He doesn’t mind it.

Amy is asleep, passed out in a hospital bed after over 24 hours of pain and tears and screaming. He’s happy she is. Both for Amy’s sake and for his own, because if she’d gone through all that without needing to rest after he’d be way more terrified of her than he already is. She looks a mess with crazy hair and rests of makeup under her eyes and still he’s never been more impressed by her.

  
“You’d never been able to do this in a million years time without fainting”, she’d said staring into his eyes towards the end of it.

  
“Can’t argue with you there”, had been his only response. At least he hadn’t made a ‘title of your sextape’-joke. Even Jake Peralta knew well enough to fear his own death sometimes.

He fears it more now, when he’s not sure he’ll ever want to risk his life for anything again.

  
It would be them, in that case. Amy and the sleeping kid in his arms that supposedly is his. He’s seen and held babies before, knows how tiny and innocent they look when they’re that brand-new to the outside world, knows how they bring up something deep inside you that makes it impossible to see them sleeping without having your heart ache slightly. Those kids have belonged to other people, though. This is different. Even though he’s had plenty of time to prepare and get used to the thought of something fifty percent him and fifty percent Amy, not even Terry’s two hour long speech on how much he cried holding Cagney and Lacey for the first time could have begun to prepare him for how tightly this baby has him wrapped around her finger.

 

According to the nurses their daughter is perfectly healthy in size. He finds this difficult to believe, because she’s so small she’s practically drowning in the hospital baby blanket. There’s a tiny bit of blood left on the few spots on her head not covered in the softest black hair, but aside from that she looks the least worn out from her own birth out of the three of them. Two hours of trying to take in her features has left the detective with the conclusion that the nose, pointed slightly upwards, is Amy’s, but the mouth is more similar to his own. Whatever he’s tried to picture in his head before, their daughter is infinitely more perfect.

 

That very thought makes his eyes tear again for the gazillionth time in a few hours. He quickly wipes the tears away with the hand not supporting her head. He’s not about to wake his soundly sleeping daughter up now, because if she wakes up Amy will wake up and even if it’s hard to admit in his own weariness she needs this sleep most out of any of them.

* * *

 

He actually isn’t sure when his wife was last asleep. Maybe she slept a few hours two nights before this one, because he remembers her waking him up by walking around in their bedroom in the middle of the night complaining about weird pain, but when he asked her if something was going on she denied it and eventually they both went back to sleep. The day after had been Amy’s first off work for maternity leave. Jake did try to stay home with her, but she shooed him away insisting everything was fine now and he spent the day at the precinct too jittery for anyone to get a coherent sentence out of him.

  
“I finished everything”, had been Amy’s greeting when he’d finally stepped foot inside their apartment that evening. “The bed’s made, I washed the last baby clothes, I prepared food for us…”

  
“But you said you were going to divide it over two weeks?” He’d questioned her, brows furrowed.

  
“I was restless. I didn’t make any food for tonight though - how do you feel about Chinese?"

  
“Oh, yes.”

 

Their last evening together without kids had been spent eating takeout on the couch in front of Property Brothers. They’d only just crawled under the covers when Amy with a small outcry of surprise threw herself out of it again, water running down her legs, and the following twenty-four hours had given little possibility for sleep.

  
“You literally were home from work one day”, he’d said jokingly somewhere in the middle of that night with her breathing deep while leaning against the kitchen counter and him massaging her shoulders trying to distract from the pain. “Your baby’s ridiculous.”

  
“It’s your baby too, stupid.”

  
“I’ve never been early for anything in my life. Exactly one day after you went on leave? That’s your genes, Santiago, not mine.” She’d looked tempted to strangle him at that, but he timed his snarky comment with another contraction and she never did.

* * *

 

“Yeah, you really are a Santiago, huh?” He whispers to the baby now in his arms. “Good for you, because your mom’s awesome and the more you’re like her the better you’ll be at everything. Except liking Die Hard and inappropriate humor.” This wakes a tiny yawn in response. “I can teach you those. It’ll be great.” She opens one of her brown eyes, giving him a look that could be suspiciousness.

  
“I promise. I don’t know a lot of stuff about being a dad because mine was pretty useless - sorry, you’re not my therapist - but your mom will make sure I don’t mess you up too bad. She promised me that.” The brown eye closes again. “Yeah, I think we’ll be fine.”

* * *

 

Not that he was always so sure of that. It had stressed him out like crazy at first, because even if seeing Terry and Charles with their kids had given him an understanding of what a good parent looks like, he knew his own issues with father figures ran deep. What if being a parent freaked him out, too, and he ran away the way his own father did? What if he wouldn’t know what to do with a baby, if he couldn’t learn how to take care of his own kid? What if his job forced him to go undercover again and he’d not only be leaving Amy behind but also a child?

Jake voiced all of these concerns to Terry after a few beers at Shaw’s one night celebrating a solved case of his and Rosa’s.

  
“Yeah, I thought about all those things before the twins came, too.” Reminiscing about this brought tears to his eyes, much like any other time Jake had brought up babies with Terry. “You won’t be a hopeless case, Peralta. I know this because you’re not stupid, because you and Amy are great babysitters and also because you already love this child.” He’d pressed the home button on Jake’s iPhone, revealing the ultrasound picture kept as background. “The rest will work out. As for work, it sucks, but maybe you’ll work less dangerous cases and we’ll protect you as much as we can. You’re not the first detective who’s ever been a parent.”

  
“I guess not”, he’d mumbled as he takes another sip of beer. “Thanks, Terry.”

  
“You could talk to Amy about this, you know.” Terry gestured to her a few tables away, chatting away with Gina and Holt. In her favourite flowy blouse it was still difficult to see much of a difference, but her drinking exclusively non-alcoholic beverages and still yawning every other minute gave her away. She smiled at him upon catching him looking at her, mouthing the words “All good?” and he’d nodded.

  
“I don’t want to have her worry about me.”

  
“No, but maybe you can worry together. It usually helps.”

 

Terry turned out to be right about this. As the months passed Jake never found himself less worried, but it was a lot less easier to handle with Amy by his side.

* * *

 

“For the sake of already having cried copious amounts tonight, I’m going to pretend seeing our kid in your arms is not making my heart go crazy. But it is.” Amy’s, still slightly hoarse, voice jolts his mind awake.

  
“I think we have free passes on crying today.” She reaches for the plastic bottle on the small table next to Jake, and he gives it to her.

  
“Yeah. I sure hope so.” He reluctantly shifts his gaze from his daughter to his wife, finding her looking at them with tears in her eyes in a way not all too different from when he proposed to her.

  
“How are you feeling?”

  
“Satisfied that I’ll always win any arguments about which one of us can stand the most pain. Also exhausted. And really, really happy.”

  
“You were incredible, Ames.”

  
“Thanks. Sorry for abusing your hand like that and threatening to kill you a few times.”

  
“Worth it.” Their baby has put one hand up like the world's tiniest fist in front of her face, as if ready to punch someone in her sleep. He strokes the hand with his index finger back and forth, marveled over how flawlessly smooth her skin is.

  
“Is it my turn soon?”

  
“It was your turn for nine months straight!”

  
“That was different.” She rolls her eyes, stretching out her arms and sitting up straight. “Also, don’t you dare fight me today.”

  
“Fair. But only because I can’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom.” Standing up with a baby in his arms is terrifying, because what if he drops these seven pounds and breaks every bone in that miniature body and kills her instantly, but he manages to keep his cool and soon enough Amy’s holding their daughter and there are tears in his eyes again. He has seriously lost count of how many times that has happened in the few hours he’s been a parent.

* * *

 

The two of them never really discussed being parents before a positive pregnancy test took them both by surprise, because really, Amy had just figured the lack of periods and the throwing up was stress to begin with and Jake hadn’t known any better. They’d never had a serious conversation about kids. They used protection. Mostly. Kind of. Yet when they sat there, staring at five different pregnancy tests that had all come back with a strong positive result, there hadn’t been any question about it. Jake had promised Amy he’d be okay with whatever she chose, and she’d been silent for a minute - one of the longest in his life - before declaring that she was totally keeping it and if he could be so kind to excuse her because she needed to go get started on a binder right this minute.

 

No, the first moment the couple had understood they legitimately wanted to have a kid together had been the moment they were convinced they wouldn’t. About one and a half month after they found out about the pregnancy he’d been at the precinct going over some paperwork when he received the phone call from Amy, crying hysterically at the other end of the phone, telling them they needed to go to the hospital because there was blood everywhere and it wouldn’t stop. Jake had dropped everything, convinced his wife to at least take a cab when she refused an ambulance and made Charles drive him to the hospital. His heart had been beating so fast he’d been positively convinced he was going to faint, but he’d made it to the hospital and the examination room without shedding as much as a tear. Neither of them had said a word to each other as the nurses poked and prodded at her, telling the panicked couple comforting words that went in one ear and out the other.

  
“We need to do an ultrasound to make sure”, had been the final call, and they had went along with it knowing it most likely wouldn’t show anything.

 

Amy closed her eyes for it, tears still falling down her cheeks. Jake kept his open, only to find there was still something there on the screen. Was it something else? Something that shouldn’t be there?

  
“Congratulations”, the nurse had said with a smile. “Your baby is fine.”

  
“How?” Amy had stared at the screen in as much disbelief as Jake had already been feeling. “But there was so much blood.”

  
“It happens sometimes. Everything seems fine far as I can see. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

 

Both of them had known then, listening intently to the fast-ticking heartbeat booming through the speakers, holding hands while still crying, that they wanted this baby. They might not have been sure they did before they were on the verge of losing it, but they wanted this. They really did.

* * *

 

“Have you texted anyone yet?” Amy questions him when he returns from the bathroom.

  
“Oh, shit…” He last texted Charles at midnight, an hour before their daughter was born, and four hours later the last text he has 132 unread messages. There are only 10 missed calls - even Charles must have been wise enough to realise speaking on the phone was probably not Jake’s greatest priority. “I better text Charles. Do I just text the whole precinct? Holt? You’re supposed to text your parents, right? You don’t have a binder tab for this, do you?”

  
“I may not have had the time to finish that exact section.”

  
“Disappointing, Santiago. Suggestions?”

  
“Call Charles and your parents. I can call mine. Then text the squad. Then sleep, because babe, no offense, but you look a mess.”

  
“A hot mess?” He tries to wink, but the exhaustion makes it look more like his face is cramping.

  
“No. Just a mess.” She shakes her head and shifts her focus back to their baby, who is now letting out the sweetest grunts and squeaks while continuing to move her hands up and down. “Go call them. We’ll still be here after.”

  
“Promise?”

  
“Promise. Now go.”

 

Charles answers on the first ring and starts crying so intensely Jake struggles to get a word in. He ends up promising his best friend a visit the next day if he gets some sleep now, then hangs up before Charles emotional state gets him crying again. He leaves a message for his mom, then texts the squad and his parents one of the few baby pictures he’s had time to take together with a short message.

**Baby Nine-Nine three hours old now. She and her parents are tired but doing great. :)**

  
It feels surreal somehow, sending out something so trivial as a text with information he’s barely been able to process himself. Surreal, but awesome.

 

The hospital bed isn’t made for two, but they end up sharing it anyway. Jake reads incoming texts out loud, both of them laughing at how obvious it is who has sent which text.  
“Dope. Tell Amy she is badass” from Rosa. “Congratz. Iggy says hi” and about ten different emojis from Gina. “Dear Jake & Amy, Congratulations on the addition to your family. Best, Raymond Holt” from the captain.

  
“She’s going to be so loved”, Amy whispers as they’re close to falling asleep, her head resting on Jake’s shoulders and their daughter sleeping on his chest.

  
“No doubt, no doubt”, he says back. “For someone who has been awake maximum one hour of her outside-womb life, she’s pretty amazing.”

  
“Yeah.” They share a quick but tender kiss, lips meeting for the first time as parents, and after that they both fall asleep.  
For thirty minutes, before they’re woken up by high-pitched crying.


	2. baby names

For some inexplicable reason they’re deemed okay to go home one day later. Jake struggles severely to understand how anyone in their sound mind would judge him ready to go home and be responsible for another human life. He hovers over their daughter constantly to make sure she doesn’t stop breathing in her sleep, stresses the first time has to pull a shirt over her head because what if she chokes, worries over everything until he goes dizzy. There’s so much love for this little individual in his heart already and he’s never felt anything like it. How can he trust that it’s there to stay?

 

Amy becomes the calmer one of them for once, convincing her husband that their baby is going to be fine and no, he won’t accidentally drop her from a window or starve her to death.

  
“I have nieces and nephews”, she reminds him when he asks how she can know that for sure. “None of my brothers are exactly geniuses and all their kids are fine. I think.” So Jake trusts her, because he will trust Amy with everything he has until the end of time, and towards the end of their second day of parenthood they go home to their apartment. Takeout dinners are eaten by one parent at a time while the other one tries to calm a baby seemingly scared to death of the prospect of going to sleep right this moment. Thirty excruciating minutes passes before they get her to both eat and fall asleep. When she eventually does it’s on Jake’s chest, and after successfully transferring her to her bed he feels like an absolute champion, which he demonstrates in a triumphant gesture.

  
“Great job, babe.” Amy gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “There’s spit-up all over the back of your t-shirt.”

 

The precinct family game nights are semi-regular at best, but there’s always time for one when something important happens. Two detectives of Brooklyn’s 99th precinct having a baby together, for example. Holt, Charles, Rosa, Gina and Terry storm through the door in the late afternoon day four of the Peraltiago Parenting experience, Rosa carrying a few board games noone truly intends to play.

  
“We left Hitchcock & Scully at an all you can eat pizza buffet”, says Gina before Jake has time to ask. “From one parent to another, I wouldn’t take the risk.”

  
“Good call”, he agrees trying his best to maintain eye contact with her while being aggressively hugged by Charles. “Amy doesn’t let normal-bacteria people near her without them desinfectating their hands. She would have showered them both in alco-gel.”

  
“You bet I would have. I trust her not dying in our hands, but I won’t go further than that.”

  
“A rather wise call considering the various health conditions of detectives Hitchcock and Scully”, says Holt, nodding in agreement. “Where is the… uhm…”

  
“Baby?” Jake grins.

  
“Yes… That.”

He gets to be first in turn to hold her. It’s an interesting two minutes, because the captain seems positively confunded about how to appropriately react to holding a baby except smiling awkwardly and avoiding eye contact with anyone. The sight still makes both the new parents overly emotional. Dad issues or not, the card and teddy bear in police clothes they get as a gift from Holt and Kevin has both of them tearing up.

* * *

 

Holt had been the first one to comment on Amy’s mysterious sickness before anyone knew anything. Jake had given up on asking his wife to go to the doctor’s after two weeks of her throwing up in the mornings and sometimes sneaking away to the bathroom throughout the day, because every time he tried she snapped at him, claiming this was nothing but stress and she was handling it just fine. But this day had been the worst so far. Amy had been sprinting to the bathroom time after time and Jake had been following her to make sure she didn’t faint; she’d been close to once, and after that he’d almost dragged her by force to the doctors, but she’d still refused. The captain had been waiting for them as they got out of the bathroom for the sixth time that day, arms crossed to enhance the usual seriousness of his expression.

  
“You really should go get that checked out, Santiago”, he’d said to the sergeant currently leaning her head on Jake’s shoulder with his arm draped around her. “You have been feeling unwell for quite some time now and it would be irresponsible of me to allow you at work in that state.”

  
“It’s nothing”, she’d insisted once more. “Stress reactions.”

  
“Then you will still need a doctor’s opinion and time off. Whatever it is, I am not having you at work while sick any longer. You have the day off if you get to the bottom of this. Take Peralta with you.” Amy had groaned at that, but there wasn’t a bone in her body confident enough to go against direct orders from her captain.

 

“If I say I have one last idea”, she’d said when they got into the car. “Can we wait with the doctors?”

  
“Ames, Holt said himself…”

  
“One last idea. If I’m wrong, then hospital.”

  
“Promise?”

  
“Promise. Can we stop at the nearest Walgreens?”

  
“What are we looking for?” He heard her take a deep breath before answering.

  
“Every single brand and model of pregnancy tests they have.”

  
“Oh. Oooohh. That’s… cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool…”

  
“I’m sorry. I don't think I can rule it out.”

  
“No. Wow. Don’t be sorry. It’s… well…” He’d been at a complete loss for words. “Let’s go buy some tests.”

* * *

 

Gina is second, holding the sleeping baby for five minutes almost without any snarky comments. “I could point out how much more awesome Iggy is, but I figure I shouldn’t hurt your feelings yet”, she says as she skillfully hands the baby over to Terry. “I’m sure she will be a child of average quality. If you need advice from a professional, I’m only a text away.” Amy only rolls her eyes in response.

  
“She’s so tiny. This is half the size all my girls were.” Terry looks confused, as if it never occurred to him that not all newborn children weigh as much as his did.

  
“Yeah, well, she has my genes, so she’s not really bound to be a bodybuilder in any case”, says Jake grabbing his third slice of pizza.

  
“She’ll be fine. Just make sure you don’t accidentally drop her on the floor or something.”

  
“Thanks! Sure needed that reminder. Rosa?”

  
“I’m okay. Holding babies kind of freak me out. I also think Charles might kill me if it’s not his turn first.”

Charles cries less than expected when Terry transfers the baby to his arms, which to be fair isn’t saying a lot.  
“Charles, bud, I think you’re scaring her”, Jake intervenes after realizing his daughter is starting to fuss a worrying amount in response to the snivelling of the man holding her.

  
“I’m sorry. It’s just… this is my dream come true and I can’t believe it finally happened”, he says tearfully looking from Jake to Amy to Jake again. “I can’t believe you were so lucky to have unprotected intercourse at the time of Amy’s ovulation…”

  
“ _Charles, no!_ ” They both exclaim in unison.

  
“I’m just saying! It’s the miracle of life!”

  
“Still gives you no right to discuss neither my body nor sex life. Ever”, says Amy glaring at him angrily from the other end of the sofa.

* * *

 

Unsurprisingly, Charles had been the first one to figure it out. Telling people had felt miles away at first, because they hadn’t been prepared for this to happen themselves, so how could they announce it to other people? On the one hand, this would heavily disrupt Amy’s life calendar. On the other hand, both of them knew it would never be the perfect time for two hard-working cops to start a family. They weren’t opposed to kids. If it was going to happen some time, it might as well be now. It was just unplanned, and terrifying, and life-altering in a way they’d never known before. So it remained a secret for now.

  
“At least until the 12 week mark”, Amy had insisted after her first hour of pregnancy-related googling. “Then the risk of miscarriage drops to around 2 percent. We should be safe after that.”

  
“So a month.” He’d sat down on the kitchen floor next to the spot from which his wife hadn’t moved in an hour, handing her the mug of ginger tea she’d asked for. “We’ll somehow have to keep this from Charles for a month.”

  
“Good luck to us.”

 

It had taken one week before they failed. Holt had sent Jake on a stakeout together with Charles in order to try and catch a perp, but the street at which they were parked remained close to empty and so they had to pass time in some way. Jake tried his best to steer the conversation towards Nikolaj or exotic cuisine, but there were only so many questions about those two topics he could ask before he fell short of knowledge about them.

  
“How’s Amy doing? She’s still looking a bit pale, and she totally looked like she was going to barf all over my goat paté sandwiches yesterday.”

  
“That might be because they in fact looked disgusting, Charles.”

  
“No… that can’t be it. They were delicious. How is she?”

  
“She’s getting better.” Integrating what he assumed to be every single recommendation for morning sickness found on google ever had eased the situation slightly, so that wasn’t technically a lie. “I think knowing why helped her, too.”

  
“So what is it?” Charles leaned forward, his face unpleasantly close to Jake’s blushing one as he realised he’d said too much.

  
“Uhm... stress.. stomach… stuff?” He tried, avoiding the eye contact he knew would reveal his lying.

  
“She’s pregnant, isn’t she? You guys are finally having a baby? My dream is finally coming true!” Charles had been practically squealing with excitement.

  
“You have your own kid, so for Nikolaj's sake I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

  
“Yes! You didn’t deny it!” The sight of a grown man jumping up and down in his seat with excitement would have freaked Jake out if he hadn’t seen it a billion times before. “It’s happening!”

  
“Charles, you really can’t tell anyone.”

  
“My lips are sealed!” He mimicked zipping his lips together. “But it's finally happening! Thank you thank you thank you!”

  
“A, it wasn’t planned. B, we didn't do it for you, but, uhm… you’re welcome?”

* * *

 

Naming their daughter seems almost unnecessary at first. It’s not as if they’re ever talking about something else anyway, so why the need to specify? Nicknames, however, are a different thing entirely. She’s the koala after the way she best enjoys falling asleep, curled up like a koala bear on Jake’s chest. She’s the boxer after the way she holds her fists in front of her face when sleeping anywhere else. She’s either mini-Jake or mini-Amy depending on what she’s doing and which parent you’re asking. According to the precinct she’s baby nine-nine, which although adorable seems unsustainable for a first name.

It's day eight when the name conversation finally takes place. After forty minutes of both of them trying their hardest to calm down a screaming baby in the middle of the night, neither of them can sleep in spite of their exhaustion, so Amy pulls out one of her so far four binders on everything pregnancy and babies.

  
“We never settled on a name”, she says shrugging her shoulders. “Now seems as good a time as any.”

  
“Babe, it’s literally the middle of the night.”

  
“Well, you’re awake, aren’t you? And I’m too stressed out to sleep.” She has her giant glasses on, the ones he still teases her about to no end, and is looking at him expectantly.

  
“Sure. But forgive me if my suggestions suck.”

  
“We’ve already narrowed it down to a list of five first names.”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“None of them fit.” She closes the binder with a thud. “None. They’re nice, but all of them are wrong. We’re back to square one.”

  
“O-kaaay.” He makes an attempt in stifling his yawn but fails brutally.

  
“Care to comment?”

  
“Well, my sleep-deprived suggestions are likely ones you’re going to detest either way. But I did actually have a thought a couple days ago.”

  
“Shoot.”

  
“You know how we said it’d be nice with a name that’s both Jewish and Spanish, except all of those names kind of suck?” Amy nods slowly. “I think I might have remembered one that doesn’t. Another Jewish girl at my pre-K, I think her dad was Spanish or something, was called Leah. It’s a name that works for both criteria but doesn’t suck. Thoughts?”

  
“Hmm.” She’s silent for a couple seconds, face focused. “I don’t hate it. I can kind of see it, actually.”

  
“It’s sweet, but it’s tough too. Reminds me of lions. Lions are cool. It’d work with Santiago and wouldn’t be terrible with Peralta.”

  
“Nice and simple, common yet not too common. I’m impressed.” She reaches for his hand underneath the covers, squeezing it in affirmation. “I actually think we should go with it.”

  
“You really think so?”

  
“Unless you had a secret crush on this Leah from your pre-K or something, yeah.”

  
“If I did I can’t remember. But… Leah, then?”

  
“Leah Santiago.”

  
“Wow.”

  
“So - middle names? While we’re in the zone?”

  
“Nope. Too sleep-deprived.” Jake turns around, demonstratively pulling the grey covers up to his chin. “Tomorrow. My genius baby-naming brain needs rest.”

* * *

 

The scare had been all it took for the couple to decide to announce it to the rest of the precinct. They were three months in, Amy needed time of work to avoid stress - a doctor’s recommendation had been the last drop- and Charles had already shown definite signs of struggle to keep the pregnancy a secret. Knowing telling people one by one would inevitably start both rumors and competition over who got to know first, a morning briefing had seemed the most fair.

  
“So.” He hadn’t been able to help but feel excited as he walked up to the front of the room. “I bet you’re all making bets about why I left the precinct in a rush yesterday.”

  
“There’s a list.” Gina waved a sheet of paper from her seat in the back of the room. “Just saying, I have a lot of money riding on this, so please cut the suspense.”

  
“Gladly. Amy, care to do the honors?”

  
“Sure thing.” She’d looked happier than he’d seen her in a long time. “It’s connected to the mystery sickness, so you can all finish your bets for that too.”

  
“Now I have even more money riding on this”, Gina groaned. “Get. On. With. It.”

  
“Okay.” She took a deep breath, taking Jake’s hand in hers. “If everything goes well - there was a scare yesterday, but the hospital said everything was fine - we’re, uhm, I guess we’re having a baby in November.”

 

The entire precinct went silent for a few, tense seconds. Then it exploded in noise.

  
“I KNEW it! Terry knows his pregnancy symptoms! Pay up, Gina!”

  
“Charles knew, didn’t he?” Rosa pointed to the detective currently crying happy tears but looking positively satisfied with himself. “Wow. Congrats.”

  
“I’d be happier for you I hadn’t just lost all of my money to Charles, Terry and for some reason Hitchcock”, said Gina. “Anyone for new bets? Birth date? Boy or girl?”

  
“Santiago, I will see you in my office after the briefing to discuss appropriate policies. I suppose congratulations are in their order, though.”

  
“Thank you, Captain. I have read up on them all already”, nodded Amy.

  
“You better name the baby after me, since I’m the reason you’re together.” Charles had gone from squealing to enthusiastically bouncing up and down in his seat as he pointed from Jake to Amy.

  
“Charles, man, we have been over this _so many times…_ ”

* * *

 

They don’t make it the first name, no matter how many texts Charles sends asking them to consider it, but after a moment of discussion over breakfast they agree that Charlotte works for a middle name.

  
“He was happier about this than we were at first”, remembers Jake. “It’s only fair.”

Amy gets to decide a second middle name. It takes her an hour in silence with her binders while Leah sleeps before she eventually settles on Dora. Nobody but them will understand its meaning and importance, and thankfully no one else needs to.

They fill out the name forms for Leah Charlotte Dora Santiago-Peralta that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments always appreciated! <3  
> I have some plans for chapter 3 and 4 even if not as many as I had for the first ones, so they'll be up eventually!


	3. parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter?? already??? yes because I've had time off school this week and I'm in a good writing flow and I enjoy writing this fic a lot. just one more chapter left! kudos and comments mean the world so please leave them if you want to, nothing makes a fanfic writer happier than hearing someone enjoyed their work :')

He almost forgets about it in the hypnotizing brand-new reality that is their daily life with a newborn baby, but after two weeks of sleep deprivation and an overload of emotions he’s scheduled to appear at work the next day. They have already agreed to split the eight weeks of parental leave they’re issued each so that they will work one week at a time for the next four months before moving to the next part of their plan, so he knows it’ll only be a week before he has time to spend whole days with Leah again, but it still feels too long.

Jake Peralta of seven years ago would never have imagined preferring staying at home to being at work. Heck, even the Jake Peralta of three years ago would likely have chosen the precinct over the couch any day as long as he had Amy with him. He doesn’t now. He’ll be there for an entire week without her, and as much as he loves everyone at the precinct, leaving the company of both his wife and daughter for them is difficult.

“You’ll be home, though”, Amy reminds him when he whines about it the day before. “We both get smaller cases and fewer night shifts until we’re ready. Holt said so.”

  
“Still too much.”

  
“I know. But we’re going to be okay.” She holds out their sleeping daughter just enough for him to carefully pick her up. “Bathroom.”

  
“You see! You can’t even go to the bathroom on your own! You still need me!” He yells after her, pretending to be upset.

  
“There’s a babynest next to me where I could easily have put her down and she would have been none the wiser. I was just trying to make you feel useful.”

  
“Well, way to ruin my self-confidence!”

  
“Always happy to help.”

He’s the one to get up with Leah that night. Amy tries to stop him, claiming he needs the sleep before work, but he’s surprisingly fast to get out of bed when it comes to his daughter. She doesn’t stop fussing after the bottle, so he moves on to walking laps around the living room with her over his shoulder. This stops the crying.

  
“Maybe you’re lonely, huh? That’s okay. We all get lonely.” He strokes the back of her tiny police pajamas, one of the many police baby items gifted to them by members of the precinct. If he remembers correctly, Terry gave them this.

  
“Or maybe you just missed me. That’s probably not true, I know you love Amy a lot. She’s the best. I agree with you.” He shifts her so that she’s in his arms instead, brown eyes watching him confoundedly.

  
“I sure will miss you tomorrow. For the whole day. I’ll miss you so, so much. Which is why I promise you I will always come home. Always. I don’t care how many criminals I have to threaten for that to happen.” He promised himself this long ago, but saying it out loud gives it further meaning.

  
“Promise. Be nice to your mom tomorrow, okay? I’ll be back before you know it. Especially considering you don’t really have a concept of time yet.” Leah yawns to that.

  
“Yeah. You’re right. Too much monologue-ing and not enough sleeping. Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

 

The fear had kicked in somewhere shortly after their second ultrasound at five months. If he looked really hard at the black and white pictures, he could imagine the alien-like white blur depicted on them being an actual growing human, and that had been enough. What if? What if something were to happen, to Amy or to him? They didn’t exactly have the safest job in the world. In his career he’d been taken hostage, sent to prison, had to go undercover. If he left a kid that way he’d be no better than his own dad, and he desperately wanted to be. What if he were to die in the field the way he once planned to? What if Amy got hurt? The endless risks of things that could happen to him out there haunted his dreams on repeat.

He’d woken up in the middle of the night once after a particularly vivid scenario, only to find himself unable to breathe. Maybe he was dying now? It felt like that. His heart was pounding too fast, his eyesight was blurry, his chest too heavy. Why wasn’t he getting any air?

  
“Jake.” A familiar hand on his shoulder. Amy was there. Good. “Jake, you’re hyperventilating. Are you okay? Can you talk?” He shook his head no. “Okay. Try to breathe along with me. It’ll be okay.”

It had felt like hours before he was breathing normally again, although Amy assured him it had only been ten minutes.

  
“I can’t stop thinking about it”, he’d said when he’d regained the ability to speak. “We have a stupid dangerous job. Something could happen to me, or you, but most likely to me cause I have a pretty terrible track record.”

  
“You do.” They had turned the lights on, neither of them feeling much like sleeping now.

  
“I can’t stop thinking about what would happen to our kid then. Like, are we crazy to choose to have kids together? Are we just egoistic morons?”

  
“Maybe. It’s a pretty egoistic thing to have kids if you consider the overpopulation of the Earth. Huge waste of resources.”

  
“You know that’s not what I meant.”

  
“I know.” She laughed. “I worry like crazy, too. I think all parents do. Have you talked to Terry?”

  
“Yeah. He said to talk to you.”

  
“Good. We can worry together. Or we can hope for the best because what’s going to happen is going to happen anyway.” Jake snorted.

  
“So weird seeing you being all calm and reasonable about this.”

  
“Yeah, I’m totally blaming it on all the hormones. Also, I’m super tired.” She flinched. “Our baby is the opposite of that, though.”

  
“Really?” Without answering him she’d grabbed his right hand, holding it to the lower part of her stomach where a small bump had finally started showing. He’d felt nothing at first, then a tiny, barely noticeable movement. Something, someone, pushing against his palm for a few seconds. “Wow. Just… wow. Wow.”

  
“Are you crying?” Amy looked entertained, but he could tell she was moved, too.

  
“Yeah, I am! Stop judging me!”

* * *

 

Getting through the day is surprisingly easy. Amy texts him once an hour as previously agreed upon, everyone asks questions and he’s happy to answer them, Boyle refuses to stop referring to Leah as Charlotte.

  
“For the last time, Charles, it’s just a middle name.”

  
“But you did it! You really did it!” Jake gets a lot of hugs from Charles that day. They only barely stop when they leave the precinct to question a witness to a gruesome murder, which he feels is slightly disrespectful to the witness in question, but stopping his friend from hugging him is all but an easy task.

The best part of his day, though, is when his shift is finally over and he gets to drive home. They meet him in the doorway, and it takes less than a minute before Leah spits up on his shirt, but he still wouldn’t trade it for anything.

* * *

 

One of the many benefits of being married to Amy Santiago, Jake has learned, is that everything that can possibly be planned gets planned. How to solve the combination of two hardworking cops and a baby they don’t want to put in daycare just yet, for example. As soon as the four months of them splitting parental leave is done the next equally as intricately planned phase begins. Neither of them work a hundred percent, giving them shorter shifts and more days off. The days they both have off are the best ones, but the older Leah gets, the more he finds himself enjoying the days where it’s just the two of them. There are inevitably days where they’re both working, so those are days where either Jake’s mom, a brother of Amy’s or a carefully selected and highly ranked babysitter helps out.

  
“Sometimes I wonder if she remembers who her actual parents are”, teases Jake when they pick her up from his mom after a particularly long day.

  
“Oh, she does.” Amy kisses the top of her daughter’s forehead. “She’s a genius.”

  
“Unsurprisingly, with her parents.”

  
“I know. She’s lucky.”

They don’t bring her around the precinct a lot.There are days where they can’t help it, though. Amy brings her once on a rather uneventful precinct day, and after an upset five-month old having had a rather important piece of paperwork taken away from her right when she’d put a corner of it in her mouth, the stressed out parents end up in the evidence room to try and calm her down.

  
“Welcome to the evidence room, Lee.” The crying is silenced almost as soon as they walk in, courtesy of the pacifier Amy finally finds in her purse. “They should practically rename it the Jake & Amy room considering your parents history with it - “

  
“They should not.”

  
“Hey, we have a lot of memories here.”

  
“Still inappropriate. And I was voted…”

  
“Most appropriate. I know. I’ve been married to you for almost two years.” Kissing her while holding a baby is a bit clumsy and not nearly as romantic or passionate as he wishes it could be, but it’s okay. They’ll have time for that once Leah goes to sleep.  
If they’re not too tired. That happens a lot now.

* * *

 

They were in here the last day before Amy went on leave, too. No conversation had been needed then. The couple had just sat there on two chairs in the back of the room, hand in hand, looking around the room with its shelves and shelves of labeled boxes, thinking.  
He hadn’t needed to ask her what she was thinking about. This was the last time they would ever be in here together before everything changed, and as his mind kept replaying all of their secret and not so secret moments from here, he figured hers was too. She had squeezed his hand tight. He had squeezed it back.

  
“So, a lot of change around here, huh?”

  
“Yeah.” He couldn't help but grin at the words he recognised all too well. “Are you trying to get me to kiss you again?”

  
“Maybe.” It was complicated to get as close now, he had to kiss her from the side due to physical hinders, but it worked just as well.

There definitely had been a lot of change since the first, nerve-wracking kiss when he’d worried he was messing everything up. Jake didn’t mind any of it.

* * *

 

“Full disclaimer, Lee, I’m terrible at Spanish.” He puts down one of the Spanish children’s books Amy’s bought on the playmat, then lowers himself down so that he’s on the floor, ready to try and communicate with his six-month old. “Your mom’s the better one, as in most cases. But I figured we could learn together, yeah? She squeals sharply at that, demonstrating her new favorite way of expressing positive emotion.

“I’m taking that as a yes. Fair warning, if you mock my pronunciation of words I will be hurt. You don’t want that, right?” Leah doesn’t look much like she’s worrying about hurting his feelings - she’s occupied with chewing on the ears of her favorite teddy bear while watching him intently to see what’s happening.

  
“Okay. Here we go.” He opens the picture book, pointing at the objects in it one by one while probably butchering the pronunciation of them. Leah interrupts him every now and then with her characteristic squeals and screeches, putting her tiny hand on his nose or in his mouth when he gets close enough for her to reach. It takes them a while to finish the twenty-page book that way, but when they’re done Jake ruffles her chocolate-brown hair and tells her he’s proud of her.

After the reading and after she’s made a mess of the baby kitchen chair, his plaid, and her own adorable jumpsuit with multi-colored dinosaurs while eating, it’s nap-time. It takes a good twenty minutes, but when he eventually gets her to fall asleep on her own in the crib the pride and relief he feels is unbeatable. He texts Amy a picture and considers using this sudden free time to do some paper work from home or call Charles who has off today, but decides against it. He’d rather use this time to take a well-needed nap himself.

Parenting is tiring, that’s for sure. He loves it nonetheless.


	4. anniversaries

 

“And she falls asleep every night with the stuffed animal that’s a dolphin, I’ve packed it, but you have to take it away from her as soon as you’re sure she’s sleeping because otherwise she could choke and if she won’t fall asleep you -” 

“Amy, we’ve seen a baby before. We’ve babysat Leah plenty of times. We’ll take perfectly good care of her.” Leah does indeed look very content in the arms of Karen Peralta as her parents do their best to try and say goodnight before their first night without her.

“You have our numbers on speed-dial. Don’t hesitate to call us if you think something’s wrong. We’ll be here as soon as we can. Don’t let dad corrupt her. And we’ll be…” Jake continues Amy’s nervous rambling.

“At our door at exactly 9 AM tomorrow morning. Yes. I got it the first time.” Karen gives them an understanding smile as they one at a time attack their daughter with goodbye-kisses. “Now _please_ go and enjoy your wedding anniversary before I close the door on you.”

“Thank you so much for doing this!” Amy gets the last word before the door closes on them and they are stood on the porch, just the two of them alone with each other outside work for the first time in six months.

“Hey.” He touches her shoulder lightly. “We can do this. We’re strong, independent parents. Right?”

“Right.” She laughs, eyes glimmering not all too differently from the highlighter he can see she’s applied. She’s wearing lipstick the same shade of pink he’s always loved seeing her in, and it goes beautifully with the bright red dress he recognises from their first - well, the first they planned - date together. 

“Happy anniversary, Ames. You look gorgeous.” He means it. He is equally as attracted to her in pajamas and no makeup on mornings after Leah has kept them up for most of the night, but there's something about seeing her all dressed up for a special occasion that makes him weak, as if she’s the hopeless crush and the girl he could never have all over again.

“Happy anniversary, Jake. You don’t look bad yourself.” She’s the one to kiss him first, no baby bump or baby or colleagues in the way now, and his heart warms with thankfulness that she is more than a hopeless crush. She’s his wife, for two years now, and he channels all of the blissful happiness he feels for that into the kiss, deepening it.

* * *

  

Their first anniversary had been less glamorous than he’d hoped for. The original plan had been something along the lines of dinner and drinks at a fancy restaurant, which had then changed to just dinner at a fancy restaurant when it became clear alcohol was out of the question for one of them. Then came the doctor’s recommendation saying Amy was to relax at home as much as possible to make sure her stress levels were down, changing the plans to pizza and alcohol-free champagne at home. Then the mere mention of pizza had turned out to make her nausea reappear because apparently greasy foods were the _worst,_ and the final wedding anniversary plan had ended up being plain food and orange soda at home, then watching movies and cuddling on the couch.

“Pasta, chicken and broccoli, seasoned with absolutely nothing except salt.” She looked up at him with a thankful smile as he handed her the bowl of carefully prepared food. “Whatever my queen wishes.”

“Thanks. God, I long for the day when I can eat normal food again.” They’d put out a blanket on the tiny balcony so they could at least eat outside in the tepid mid-May evening.

“Oh, you’re not the only one. I miss my pizza pockets.”

“Sorry. Super sense of smell.” She moved as close to him as she could get, burying her nose in the neck of his blue hoodie. “You still smell good, at least. And we’ll make up for it next year.”

“Next year.” They toasted with their respective glasses of orange soda. “Also, I’m not going to lie - seeing you drink all that orange soda is totally turning me on.”

“It’s citrus! Anti-nauseating purposes!” A punch to his right arm. “And you will never bring it up ever again after this pregnancy!”

“Well, I see no point in making promises I won’t keep, so I’m moving on to the more positive angle of promises I _have_ kept.” He grinned. “One year of marriage! No look five!”

“You’re looking at me.”

“Yeah, you’re too beautiful not to.” They did a normal high five instead. “How old will our kid be for our two year anniversary?”

“Like five-six months, depending on when they’re born.”

“Crazy.”

“It is crazy. We’ll probably spend the entire evening worrying and waiting to get home to them again.” She took another sip of orange soda, staring out onto their view of Brooklyn streets. “Do you think we’ll be good parents?”

“Yeah.” He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, we’ll be great parents. We’re awesome, our kid’s going to be awesome, equals awesome parents. Right?”

“We’ll be great parents”, Amy mumbled, her head relaxing more and more on his shoulder.

“Are you falling asleep on me?”

“No… I’m not…”

She did fall asleep like that, and he woke her up only so she could finish eating and then move to the bed. Not the most romantic of anniversaries, but he didn’t mind. There would be more of them anyway.

* * *

 

“This is so weird.” They’ve barely ordered their food before one of them bring up Leah for the first time, Amy beating Jake to it. “It feels like I’m missing something, being neither at work or with Leah. How are we supposed to do this?”

He takes her hand over the table, squeezing it lightly. “Together. Kidding. Alcohol. Kidding again, we’ll do it together, but also… alcohol?” 

“ _Jake_.”

“Yeah, I miss her a stupid amount, too. Should we just go and pick her up so we can stay home with her instead?” He looks around the restaurant as if he’s seriously considering it.

“No! We can do this!” She squeezes his hand harder, looking at him with the serious eyes he recognizes from any time someone has tried to test Amy Santiago. “We’re not giving up. Strong, independent parents.”

“That accidentally forgot how to be something other than parents?”

“No. We’re just out of shape”, she states confidently. “We’ll get better at this. But first, I’m a fan of your alcohol idea.”

 

Getting tipsy does make it easier. It doesn’t make much of a difference at first, but after a while they’re laughing together over memories from early dates and ridiculous bets, wild cases and the few secret kisses they had before everyone found out. They’re remembering Charles’ creepy remark on the day they first met and the mess and confusion of not knowing what the other one felt, their childish peanut competition on that date turned into stakeout and Jake’s improvised proposal speech. Amy’s somehow both a little spacey and talking loudly after the first drink, making Jake suspect that pregnancy probably altered her alcohol tolerance quite a bit, but at least she seems to be enjoying herself. He is, too. He misses Leah - it’s like part of his heart is reserved for her now, aching when she’s not there - but it’s the nice kind of missing someone, the kind where he knows seeing her again will be a thousand times more magical after this time without her. Until then he’s going to enjoy this night with the gorgeous woman across from him that still makes his heart glow whenever he succeeds in making her laugh. 

In what feels like no time at all but is probably closer to two hours of eating, talking and drinking, they’re stumbling into their apartment the perfect amount of intoxicated. Four drink Amy is a bit of a pervert, that’s how the tradition goes, and with no baby in the same apartment to start screaming after five minutes the night is suddenly full of possibilities. Soon both his suit and her dress are discarded on the floor together with bedspread and throw pillows and she’s slowly trailing kisses down his chest, using her teeth at times only to hear him groan in response. He knows this won’t last as long as he wants it to without switching it up, it’s evident from all the blood in his body rushing south, so he swiftly moves so Amy is underneath him instead. It’s been all too long since he had time to admire her like this. Even in the half-darkness they’re in she’s so beautiful to him this way, even more so now than before all she’s gone through this last year and he could tell her this by words but knows there are other, better, ways to do so in this moment.

* * *

 

“Under ordinary circumstances I would have loved coming home to you half-dressed in our bedroom, but you seem pretty upset”, he said as he sat down on the bed next to a snivelling Amy, having left work early this rainy June afternoon. “There was a typo in your text, so I figured something had to be wrong.”

“Everything is fine”, she said, wiping tears away from her cheek. “I just… I don’t fit into my clothes. Or I don’t fit into these jeans.” She pulled annoyedly at the black pair of jeans where the top button indeed remained unclosed.

“And that’s… making you upset? Sad?” He looked at her with confusion. “Why?”

“I don’t know, okay!” She groaned, throwing herself backwards onto the bed. “These goddamned hormones are messing with my emotions and I’m suddenly gaining weight and…”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but it’d be kind of weird if you weren’t gaining weight if you’re supposed to fit something the size of an avocado inside you.”

“We changed week. We’re at 17 weeks now, so it’s the size of a pomegranate. It’s all in the binder.”

“My bad. Pomegranate. But hey.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Ames, it’s okay. It’s a good thing. You just have to get some new clothes. Don’t they make like, special clothes for pregnant people? Cause we can totally go and buy some.”

“They do. Maternity clothes are a very common thing. It’s just… it kind of dawned on me that my body won’t be my own for a long time. And I’ll probably be huge and gross and disgusting really soon, and even after everything will be different and…" 

“And you’re worried I’ll find you less attractive because of that?”

“No!” Amy blushed, looking him in the eyes now. “Maybe? A little?”

“Because you know that’s not true. You’re still you, you’re just doing extra awesome stuff with your body and spending each and every second growing a human and you’ve barely even complained. It’s kind of freaky and weird, yeah, but it’s also _super cool._ And it’s sure as hell not making me any less attracted to you.” He was taken aback by her kiss, their lips meeting while her hands unbuttoned the top buttons of his favorite grey and red plaid.

“Care to prove it to me?”

“You sure are moving fast between moods, but I feel like I’d be stupid not to make the best out of this specific one.”

“You would.”

* * *

 

Amy gets cold easily, so when they eventually tire themselves out she insists they crawl under the warm covers immediately. He wonders for a moment if he’ll ever get used to being this close to her, the back of her right hand feeling his heartbeat and the other stroking his shoulder. She looks a little flushed after previous activities, her hair significantly untidier than it was to a beginning. It still confuses and amazes him to no end that this woman, the smartest and bravest and toughest and most beautiful woman he knows, chooses to be with him. To marry him, even. To have kids with him.

He’ll never understand how he got so lucky.

“Sure missed doing that”, she whispers in his ear. “Title of your sextape.”

He chuckles. “Agreed. Not that spending time with our daughter is a poor replacement, but I definitely missed having more than five minutes with you.”

“It does kind of kill the mood to have someone start crying in the other room the moment your underwear is off, I’ll admit that.” 

“You think it’s too early to train her to sleep in her own room yet?”

“We could probably start training her.” Amy shrugs. “She’s smart enough.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too.” She kisses him, softly but with enough passion to make every part of his body tingle. “Now, how many hours left until we can go pick up Leah?”

 

The answer is eight hours, but they pass quickly after a blessed uninterrupted night’s sleep and a calm breakfast with fresh coffee and crossword puzzles - or, in Jake’s case, comics. Before they know it they’re outside Karen Peralta’s door again, and when they hear the familiar squeals of happiness a weight drops from their shoulders. The sun is shining outside, making Leah squint her eyes when she’s lifted up into Amy’s arms. He wants to take a picture, but isn’t sure he needs to. The image of their daughter resting her tiny head against her mother's chest while the mother in question’s eyes are tearing up is paradisial enough for him to remember it forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write smut to save my life but I didn't hate the short part of it in this chapter so I hope it wasn't too bad
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading. All of your kudos mean a lot and the few of you who've taken the time to leave a comment mean even more so please consider leaving something, whether it's an essay or a keyboard smash!


	5. trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really thought I was done with this fic but then I got inspired and realised there were still some stuff I wanted to include... so you get two new chapters! :) This picks up about 3 years after where we left off and will include plenty of super soft super fluff and some slight angst because I wanted a shot at another dynamic between these two. And I don't know, I just had a strong feeling that they are people who would go for more than one kid eventually...

**2 and a half years later**

Before Jake Peralta moved into Amy Santiago’s apartment after an abandoned bet concerning who could catch the most fugitives, the kitchen in it tended to be perfectly spotless at all times. Then it started being less so for rare shorter moments when he was left there to experiment without anyone telling him to clean up after himself, but even then it was nearly always immaculate. Then a child was introduced to it. Eventually that child grew bigger - big enough to want to partake in anything baking-related happening in there, and to make a long story short the kitchen now looks so messy he isn’t sure if Amy from six years ago would ever recognize it. There’s flour all over the counter, unwashed kitchenware in the sink, dough stains on the cabinets and a few chocolate chips dropped on the kitchen floor that he suspects his eagle-eyed three-year-old will discover any minute if he doesn't pick them up now.

But there are homemade cookies in the oven and the small kid in pigtails and dungarees looks highly entertained after their baking adventure. He counts that as enough of a victory. 

 

“Are they done yet?” Leah is standing in front of the oven, rocking from one foot to another as she watches the still clearly unbaked cookies. 

“Not yet. We’ll have to wait a while. I’ll tell you when they’re ready, though.” He does his best to try and clean up at least some of the numerous stains with a washcloth, though he’s not doing very well. 

“Now?”

“You just asked me.”

“But I want them now!” She jumps up and down, clearly annoyed over the time requirements baking entails.

“Hey! I know. Me too. But we can share the leftover dough if you keep it a secret.” This gets her to offer him one of the goofy smiles Amy says looks just like his own, and soon enough they’re both sitting on the kitchen counter trying to scrape up as much leftover cookie dough as possible on spoons. Living with a three year old, Jake has found, is not always all too different from living with the childish sides of himself.

 

“You two sure look like you had fun.”

“Hey! You’re home!” He jumps off the counter, picking up Leah in his arms so that they can hug Amy at the same time. 

“Cookies!” Their daughter exclaims, pointing with excitement to the oven. 

“They smell amazing, sweetie. Did your dad, by any chance, pick out that shirt for you?” She gestures to the kid-size Die Hard t-shirt Jake can’t help but dress Leah in every other day.

“Yup.”

“Wow. I thought we were in this  _ together _ , Lee! I can’t believe I’m raising a traitor.” He rolls his eyes with faked disappointment before he puts her down and she runs back to the oven, continuing to guard the cookies. “Sorry about the mess. I’ll clean it up. How was work as a badass supes-pregnant super-sergeant?”

“It was okay. Pretty unadventurous desk-duty day. Also”, she rubs the top of her seven months into growing bump, poorly concealed by her black tank top. “Someone keeps kicking me in the ribs. Which really hurts, and is not something I missed. At all.”

“I’ll talk to them and let them know.” He presses a quick but gentle kiss to her lips. “Missed you.”

“Missed you, too. Not to mention that dork.” Leah is currently staring at the baking cookies as if in a contest with them. “I think the cookies are probably ready to cool now.”

“Cookies are better soft anyway.”

* * *

 

It had taken some time before they had started talking about a second kid, because really, one felt like more than enough for a long time. Everything had been new and exciting and they had watched their offspring learn to sit and crawl and walk and suddenly she was communicating with them, going from a few doubting words to three-word sentences in what felt like no time at all. Leah had just turned two years old when the conversation started, prompted by an inquisitive question from one of Amy’s closest and only mom friends with kids at the same daycare. 

 

“I wasn’t thinking about it before, but now I can’t stop”, Amy complained to Jake that same evening. “I mean, I grew up with seven brothers and you always say you wish you’d had siblings.”

“Yeah”, he agreed. “And we do make pretty great children.”

“We do. I’d never want to have eight kids like my mom, though.”

“We could never raise eight children.” He shuddered at the thought, moving even closer to Amy in the couch to steal as much warmth from her as possible. “We could maybe raise two, but it’s your choice to make.”

“Why is it my choice? Oh. Right.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m the one who has to be pregnant.”

“Which you hated.”

“I didn’t  _ hate _ it”, she insisted, taking a sip from her teacup. “I hated the throwing up. And the exhaustion. And the mood swings. I hated having someone punch me way too hard from inside, and being hot and swollen and uncomfortable all the time. I couldn't drink coffee for forever. Plus the part of actually giving birth to a human absolutely sucked.”

“You hated it.”

“Fine, I hated it.”

“Pretty great end result, though.”

“The best.” He heard her sigh. “I mean… I didn’t hate all of it. Feeling her move for the first time? That was magical. It was pretty dope knowing I was actually growing another human. The ultrasounds were awesome. The waiting and longing was hard but exciting at the same time. Looking forward to every new week in that way was really cool. I got to do so much planning, and I still have all of my binders left, and we still have all the adorable clothes and the Harry Potter onesie she looked so cute in but grew out of immediately…”

“I feel like you’re telling me you  _ do _ want another baby.”

“Maybe?” She laughed, a hint of nervousness in her voice. “If you’re up for it. Are you?”

“With you? Absolutely, if you’re okay with doing it all again.”

“I’ve done it before, haven’t I?” He nodded. “Because then it’s settled. We’re having another kid.” They shared a kiss before Amy pulled away, proclaiming that she needed her computer.

“Why? Far as I’m concerned you don’t need computers for, well, baby-making.” He gestured jokingly at his crotch as he handed her the laptop, earning a light laugh from his wife. 

“If I’m going to have to be pregnant again, this time I get to plan it. Get ready for some, totally scheduled once I track my ovulation, unprotected fun.”

“Sounds hot.”

“Oh, shut up, Peralta.” 

 

* * *

 

Since the only experience they had with pregnancies was the one they didn’t even plan, they started out dangerously optimistic and confident this should work out quickly.

Then it didn’t.

 

The first month didn’t hurt that much. Both of them knew having it work on the first try but would be a tad too miraculous.

The second month was a bit more disappointing, the look on Amy’s face a little more discouraged when she told him not this time.

The third month they almost thought it worked, but the pregnancy test displayed a confident ‘Not pregnant’ and it stung worse than he had expected.

The fourth month they didn’t bring it up, a shaking head and averted gaze enough for Jake to know not to ask the question.

The fifth month they were close to positive something had happened, Amy claiming she recognized the nausea and headaches. He’ll never forget how helpless he felt as he watched her throw the negative test across the bathroom, leaving with tears streaming down her face.

The sixth month they got a faint second line for positive.

Then, one week later, Amy started bleeding and the hospital confirmed what they already understood. 

 

“Maybe this is a sign”, said Amy blankly when they got home. “We already have the best kid in the world. Maybe we should just… stop trying.”

“If that’s what you want.” He put his hand on her thigh and gave it a soft squeeze before looking her in the eyes. “I just want you to be okay.”

“I just want to feel like I’m in control of my stupid, worthless body.”

“Hey! No! Don’t you dare trash-talk my superhero wife’s gorgeous body!”  

“It’s not doing the one thing I want it to do! That it has done before! Without me even asking it to! It’s not listening to me and I hate it for it.” She took a deep breath before standing up from the couch, heading towards the hallway. “I need some fresh air. And to be alone. Please.”

“Ames…”

“No.”

 

She was suffering, he couldn’t do anything about it, and it was killing him. 

Worst of all, he didn’t know what to say. So they didn’t talk more that night. Silence filled the bedroom and none of them slept much.

She had a long work shift stationed out in the field the next day, leaving the duty of getting Leah to and from daycare to him. He didn’t see her until she came home in perfect time for her daughter’s bedtime, earning her the lucky slot of being the one in charge of bedtime stories. 

He watched from the doorframe as his two favorite people in the world read the same book about penguins three times over. Amy was squeezed into the tiny children's bed, and Leah was trying to stay as close to her as she could while listening to the story. The smile on his wife’s lips as their daughter fell asleep with her forehead against Amy’s shoulder and small hands clutching her upper arms was the first thing in a month to convince him that they would be okay.

 

“We don’t have to have another kid if it doesn’t work”, she whispered barely loud enough for him to hear when she finally joined him out in the kitchen. “I’m too tired of this.”

“I was waiting for you to say that.” He kissed her forehead, pulled her closer so his chin rested on the top of her head. “Look, we can try again later if you still want to, or just stop thinking about it. We have Leah. We’re going to be fine.”

“I love you, you know that? ”

“I love you too.”

* * *

  
  


Though he has begun to hate the late nights at the precinct he still has to pull all too often for his taste, he will admit they make the coming home feel even sweeter than usual. Some of them he makes it precisely in time to read a story or two and watch his daughter fall asleep. Some of them he doesn’t, and as he enters the apartment at eight p.m. that night the silence disappoints him at first. 

Jake finds Amy and Leah in the bed they usually don’t allow their child into unless she has a nightmare, but he supposes tonight is an exception. Leah has snuggled up as close to her mom as she can get with her growing sibling in the way and is sleeping there soundly in her lime green Ninja Turtle pajamas. 

“She said she wanted to sleep next to me and I can’t fit into her bed with her right now, so I figured I’d read her a story in here instead”, Amy explains when she sees him. “Then I realised I can’t lift her and carry her into her own bed either. So I need you to do it.”

“Got you. Love the pajamas choice.”

“She picked it out herself. You’re a terrible influence on her.”

“I think the words you’re looking for is I’m the greatest dad on Earth and she loves me.”

“You are and she does. But she should still sleep in her own bed, no matter how cute this is.” 

His daughter has grown considerably heavier since she was the tiny seven pound weight he was terrified to drop, but she’s still light enough for him to carry when called for. 

 

He takes longer than needed to walk through their apartment. The memories of when he used to walk laps around the living room at night with her as a fussing infant refusing to sleep on his chest are playing on repeat in his head, and the absurdness of the fact that in two months he will be doing the very same thing with another baby hits him. Somehow he looks forward to it. 

 

Leah yawns when Jake cautiously puts her down in her own bed and covers her up to her shoulders with the comforter. He leaves the nightlight in the shape of a ladybug on and he honestly really tries to leave the room in a normal amount of time, but he remains at the door frame for a good while anyway wanting to savor the moment.

 

He never will understand why his own father willingly ruined this feeling for himself, this blissful sensation of existing for someone else and having that someone own your whole heart now and until the end of the time.

He hopes his lack of understanding why anyone would willingly ruin this for themselves is the thing which makes him better. 

 

* * *

 

Amy Santiago likes planning. As it turns out, her offspring preferred the element of surprise.

 

They usually grabbed lunch together if it fit with their schedule, finding ways to spend time together even if they now worked on separate floors. He’d assumed Amy was texting him to set up a plan for that, but he’d been wrong.

 

_ I’m not feeling well. I’m going to go home for the day. _

 

**Woah. Willingly skipping work? That bad?** He texted back.

 

_ Yeah _

 

_ I was dizzy during the briefing this morning, now I’m exhausted and kind of nauseous and I have a headache. _

 

_ Almost feels like early pregnancy symptoms  _

 

**It could be a bug Ames. Don’t think too much about it. You’ll just get stressed.** It had been four months since they decided to stop thinking about it. He didn’t want to go back to that stress now when they were finally free of it. 

 

_ I never get sick, though. _

 

**_Babe you have a 3 year old in daycare_ **

 

_ Fair. But my immune system rocks. _

 

**Just**

 

**Don’t get your hopes up too much**

 

**I hate seeing you sad**

 

_ Fine, you’re right. _

 

_ Is there any way you could drive me home? _

 

**Yeah I’ll make Holt give me the day off**

 

_ You can’t just make him! _

 

**My wife’s dying! Need to take care of her!!**

 

_ I’m dying? This is news to me. _

 

_ Although I did just have to throw up in a street trashcan which was so disgusting I thought I was going to die. So what do I know.  _

 

**Point is I’ll get the day off to take care of you**

 

**Will get you plastic bags don’t ruin my car please**

 

_ Our car. _

 

**Whatever just wait for me**

 

_..You have the car keys. _

 

They gave it three days of roughly the same symptoms and nobody else getting sick before Jake gave in, picking up a single test from the supermarket. He wasn’t going to go crazy. It could still be nothing. They weren’t going to hope for something and have that hope crushed again.

 

It felt like forever until Leah fell asleep that night, but eventually they were the only ones awake. 

“I don’t want to look at it”, she whispered, still clutching the game-changing plastic stick with shaking hands. “I really don’t.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.” He took it from her hands while she kept her eyes closed, burying her forehead in his neck. 

He looked at it for a few seconds, smiling slowly, before kissing her.

“Wait. Is this because you’re happy or because you’re sorry for me?”

“Sorry”, he joked. “Because if the last time was any indication, I guess you’re going to feel like shit for a while again.”

“Really?” She quickly grabbed the test from him “Oh my god. I totally thought I was imagining it.”

“Finally.”

“Well, I want to buy more tests. And book a doctor’s appointment. But yeah”, she said, still looking pale but laughing nervously as she wiped a tear from her eyes. “Finally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning for this chapter to be even longer, but then I figured it was better to split the chapters instead so there will be another one coming soon as it's done.
> 
> Please please please consider leaving kudos and comments if you enjoyed this because they really do mean the world! and yes I am a broken record on repeat but you also really have a shot at making my day and making me love you forever so there's that. I love hearing what you guys liked and if you agree with my advanced and many peraltiago parenting headcanons!
> 
> (I'm amessantiagoz on tumblr if you want to fangirl the upcoming wedding episode with me!! I need more people to do that with. pretty sure my friends are becoming annoyed with me by now.)


	6. beautiful chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... what a couple of days, right?? I've never cried so much as I did to the FOX cancellation news, but I've also never been so impressed by fans as I was waking up to the news about NBC picking B99 up for a season 6. I'm SO happy and proud of myself and all the other fans who tweeted and signed petitions and refused to give up. We are the BEST. :')
> 
> with that said, I have a new chapter for you. almost flashback-less this time because there wasn't really any need for it. I'm actually really happy with this chapter and now I can post it with a clean conscience because BROOKLYN NINE-NINE IS COMING BACK and it's all going to be okay. yeah. hope you enjoy <3

Jake’s at his desk trying to go over some painstakingly boring paperwork when his phone lights up to tell him Rosa Diaz is calling. Confusion hits him at first - they’re not working any cases together at the moment, it makes zero sense for her to call him - until he remembers Amy telling him as he left for work that morning how Rosa would come over and keep her company for a few hours. He knows she’s going slightly crazy from the slow baby-waiting and sitting around she’s been doing for a week now, and there’s only so much time solving every puzzle in the three new crossword magazines he bought her can take for a Santiago, hence the friend visits.

“Hey, Rosa.”

“Dude, you should pack your things at the precinct and come home stat. Your wife’s totally in labor.”

“No”, he can hear Amy wheeze through gritted teeth on the other end of the phone. “This is nothing. This is fine.”

“Sure it is. She’s holding onto a couch cushion for dear life and staring out into thin air unable to talk for an uncomfortably long time every”, the call goes silent for a few seconds as Rosa seems to check something on her phone, “seven minutes according to this weirdly detailed timer-app. Totally normal.” He can practically hear her roll her eyes through the phone.

“I said I’m _fine._ ”

“Stop being more stubborn than your own three-year-old. Jake, get home and talk some sense into her.” She hangs up before he can get a word of his own in, and that’s that. He’s ready to leave the precinct in two minutes, which he’s pretty sure is his new record.

 

He arrives home to Rosa holding Amy’s hand and telling her to breathe while she clutches the back of their couch with her free hand, concentrated look on her face. It’s an odd sight to say the least, but he’s not given time to reflect further on it.

“I called your hospital”, his friend confirms when he gives them both a worried look. “Probably still a while left, but they think you should go anyway because apparently second children take less time. Do you have everything?”

“Our bags are packed and in our bedroom”, Amy replies in record speed before Jake is given the chance to. “I texted Charles. He and Genevieve are picking up Leah after daycare and then she’s staying with them.”

“How are you the calm one of us right now?” He asks her, but she just rolls her eyes at him.

“Because she’s tough as hell and you’re the kind of dad who almost fainted at the birth of his first child.” Rosa gives him what he assumes is a friendly punch in the arm, though it’s hard to tell with her.

“Keyword being almost, Rosa!”

“Whatever. Go be awesome and try not to faint. The latter applies mostly to Jake.” She gives him a piercing look with the last order.  

“Stop assuming I’m going to faint. And stop giving me orders.”

“Also childbirth really isn’t very awesome”, Amy mumbles as Jake helps her get up from the couch.

“I can tell. Come on, I’ll give you guys a ride so you don’t crash your car.”

“Rosa?” He recognizes the severe look on his wife’s face, the one where it’s clear she’s in pain but is still too proud to say anything about it.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. Sorry you had to see this.”

“Don’t mention it. And stop apologizing, you crazy person. Go be badass. You got this.”

 

Amy has got this. Jake has never doubted that for a split second, not after the over twenty-four hours of pain she went through last time and still survived it. That doesn’t mean seeing her so clearly in intense, merciless pain gets easier in any way, or that his frustration over not being able to do anything else but to stay there and support her in whatever way he can lessens even marginally, but it does mean he can hold onto the fact that it’s temporary. He rubs circles on her back. He lays next to her in the uncomfortable hospital bed, breathing in sync. He times contractions and tell her when they’re getting shorter apart. He tries to make her laugh, even succeeds sometimes. He keeps his panicking to himself for the most part. He stays.

“It feels like this is never going to end”, she whispers almost inaudibly when a particularly tough wave of pain hits and her breathing gets ragged.

“It will”, he promises her then. “And it will be so worth it.”

“I hate this. I really, really hate this.”

“I really, really get that.” He kisses her forehead, stroking away stray strands of hair from her face. “You’re the most incredible person I know.”

 

Eight hours after Rosa’s phone call and seven hours after they’ve gotten to the hospital, the pain _is_ worth it when the newest addition to their family arrives with the sunset and they’re suddenly parents to two children.

The first hour is a blur of tears, indescribable joy and deep relief, of nurses congratulating them anď their baby being taken away to be cleaned up and weighed and measured. It’s everyone trying to make sure that their baby is healthy, that Amy’s okay and that Jake isn’t actually going to faint even if he does look worryingly pale.

The second hour is calmer, quieter, theirs. He realises when he finally holds his second child in his arms that he has once again managed to forget how small newborn babies truly are. He’s forgotten how much they drown in the hospital blanket, how their petite fingers and toes look like something someone made up for some cute animal, how light they are and the illogical fear of dropping and accidentally killing them. It’s all coming back to him now. Their second baby looks a lot like Leah did so far, the same dark hair and chubby cheeks, but there are differences too. A whole new combination of two sets of genes. He recognizes his ears of all things from baby pictures he’s seen of himself, but is grateful for his children’s sake that both of them have their mom’s nose rather than his.

“I’m never doing this again”, says Amy when they’re finally left alone. “Not ever.”

“You don’t have to. Especially not since I won our bet.” He gives her an entertained grin as he sees the look on her face go from slightly alarmed to resigned when the realisation of what she has agreed to dawns upon her.  

“Oh no. No. _No._ What made me agree to that?”

“If I remember correctly, it’s because you were ‘completely sure’ you were right. Sure enough to agree that if you were wrong, you’d let me choose the name.”

“Oh god.”

* * *

 

“This baby is a boy for sure”, Amy had stated with confidence when they looked through the ultrasound pictures one evening trying to identify the same body parts the ultrasound technician had pointed out to them only hours before. “I know we’re not finding out, but I just know it.”

“Care to make it interesting?”

“What are you suggesting?”

“If you’re wrong, I get to name our baby the awesome contender I suggested with Leah and you refused.”

“I’m not wrong. No Santiago sibling has ever had two girls, I’d be the first. Seems unlikely to me.”

“Bet, then?” He stretched out his arm for a handshake.

“You’re so on.”

* * *

 

She convinces him to be satisfied with a middle name, arguing she did not just give birth to their second daughter for Jake to name her Nakatomi no matter how awesome and gender neutral he claims the name is. Eventually he gives in. After a day of back and forth discussion and frantic googling of baby names - deep down he’d believed Amy when she thought this baby was going to be a boy, they have no other names now - they decide on Olivia Rae Nakatomi.

Rae as a feminine version of Ray after the Captain, because if other parents can name their kids after their parents, Jake feels he should have the right to name his after the one person he truthfully sees as a father figure. Amy doesn’t veto him.

“If someone had told me when I met you that I’d one day have a baby legally called _Nakatomi_ with you, I would have thought they were on drugs”, she admits when they’re both close to falling asleep after a long day of visits.

“I would have been ecstatic. Two kids with Amy Santiago?” He shows her his new phone background, a sweet candid photo from earlier that day of Leah meeting Olivia for the first time. “Best accomplishment of my life.”

“Dork”, she replies, but the look she gives him is loving more than anything. “You really would have believed them?”

“Oh, no, definitely not. But I’m glad it happened anyway.” Their baby daughter lets out a content grunt in agreement from where she’s fallen asleep on Amy’s chest, miniature hands grabbing onto skin.

“So am I.”

 

~

 

Two kids is an adjustment. They knew that going in, or at least they learned quickly when the news started leaking and every single parent of multiple kids they’d ever met begun to warn them about the sleepless nights and overall chaos. While the worrying is less and a bit easier this time, everything else is not. Jake survives on less sleep for a longer period of time than he has ever lived through, and he’s still sure it’s more than Amy gets. The precious daytime hours where Olivia sleeps and they could be sleeping or getting things done are spent giving extra attention to a three-year-old who’s just trying to deal with the shock of having someone to share her parents with for the first time in her life. On his first day back at work he drinks four cups of coffee in an hour and still falls asleep at his desk before lunch, sleeping until Terry gently nudges him awake.

But he and Amy are a good team - that’s always been their strength. They trade sleep shifts when forced to and call for babysitting help when they’re too overwhelmed to function. They make sure everyone is eating and drinking and remind each other to shower. They share the quickest of kisses or gentle shoulder squeezes when there’s no time for anything else. They keep going best they can. Some days are chaotic, sometimes enough so to make him wonder why they thought they were capable of having another kid from the start, but as the weeks go on the good moments soon outweigh the bad ones.

 

There’s the time when he takes Leah to the playground for some quality time with one parent and she asks him when her sister will be old enough to come with them. There’s the evening he comes home to Amy, Leah and Olivia all asleep in different positions on their bed and he has to snap a picture to capture the sublimeness of the moment.There’s the time when he’s there to watch Olivia’s first real smile at almost two months, not directed at either Jake nor Amy but at her older sister dancing around the living room to upbeat music. There are all these moments when he knows they are not totally flunking this parenting thing, and those moments make it worth it.

 

~

 

The first four weeks they both stay home and after that he’s the first one to go back to work, back to the hours filled of talking to other grownups about things unrelated to children that accidentally has begun to feel like an alternate reality. It’s like a vacation. He knows Amy is jealous, though, can see it in her eyes when he mentions briefings and cases and trying to piece together clues, and it bothers him.

So after two weeks of consideration he brings up the suggestion.

“I’m considering taking a year off work.” She flinches when he says it, lifting her eyes from the crossword magazine in her lap she’s been focused on to give him a skeptical look.

“You’re considering _what_?”

“You miss work, Ames. I know you do. I see it every time I come home and whenever we hang out with any of our friends. You’re jealous.”

“A little, yeah. But I love being with our kids, too!” Her words are speeding up and he notices the tension in her shoulders as she tries to defend herself. “I really do. It’s amazing. And we already agreed I was going to stay home some more because it’s easier and it’s worked fine so far…”

“But you miss working.”

“I miss it like crazy.”   
“Okay, so hear me out”, he clears his throat to underline how serious about this he is. “We have the money. That’s not the issue here. If I stayed home for a year until Olivia’s old enough for daycare, we wouldn’t have to try and do the whole babysitting-dance again. It’d be easier for Leah to stay home with us some more if she wants to. I could, I don’t know, try to clean and stuff every day so we could actually spend time together when we’re all free.”

“What you’re saying is you wanna be a stay at home-dad.”

“I’m saying I know how important your career is to you! Mine is not - well, maybe a little - but yours is… importanter. Life-calendar and all that.”

“Importanter is so not a word”, she says with the slight smile she always gets when he tries to amuse her and succeeds. “And the life-plan isn’t the be-all end-all. Our kids are, as you say, _importanter_. You love your job, you shouldn’t have to quit working for that long.”

“You want to be the youngest female captain of the NYPD. You _should_ be the youngest female captain of the NYPD. I don’t have any crazy goals like that. Look, I love being a badass cop and solving all the cases and saving people and being a goddamn hero every single day - “

“Jake.” She gives him the disbelieving look he gets less now than in their early days as colleagues and friends. It takes him back every time.

“Fine, I could be exaggerating slightly! But my point remains. No matter how much satisfaction solving a case gives me, I’m still much happier when I’m with them.” He gestures to the baby monitors on the coffee table showing black and white images of their two sleeping children. “If I stayed home for a year you could go fulfill all your career dreams while still knowing your kids are okay. Our daughters would get to grow up with a mom that’s truly following her dream. And, I don’t know… I really like that thought.” Amy takes a while to answer him and he suspects, hopes, that she’s carefully considering his offer.

“You practiced this argumentation beforehand, didn’t you?”

“Over and over in the car all the way home today. So what’s the decision?”

“Okay. If you’re sure. You know, maybe I could work slightly less too. Have more days off with you, make sure you’re not going crazy.. a year is a long time.”

“I want to do it.”

“In that case I’m in.” She squeezes his hand in affirmation. “Who’d have thought that Jake Peralta, previously self-proclaimed work addict, willingly would want to become a stay at home-dad?” He laughs too when she brings up his past work-addiction.

“Yeah, I’m full of surprises.”

 

Amy goes back to work two weeks later. He doesn’t.

Charles cries when he calls him, but ends up promising him that he and the rest of their friends will visit him as much as they can. They don’t disappoint.

 

~

 

Having kids traditionally come with two things; an overwhelming amount of love and painstakingly early mornings. His alarm clock displays only half past six in the morning when he hears their three-month-old babbling to herself in her crib and realize there’s noise coming from Leah’s room as well. It’s Saturday, Amy has off today and he can feel her stirring next to him preparing to get up, but instead he presses a kiss to her temple and whispers to her that he’s got it.

It’s not that he wouldn’t kill for a proper sleep-in. He would. But he enjoys the mornings when they’re not at an outright ungodly hour, appreciates the simplicity of them.

“Hey, Liv. You slept well?” He’s greeted with a sunny smile from her as he lifts her up, letting her head rest on his shoulder in the way that’s become second nature to him by now. “I bet you did, considering no one woke _you_ up demanding food in the middle of the night. I think you’re forgiven, though.” She gives him a happy squeal to that. “Come on, let’s go check on your sister.”

“It’s morning!” Leah meets them in the living room before he’s even made his way to her room, still in pajamas and with frizzy hair but already in a great mood. “Good morning!”

“Good morning to you, too. Did you sleep okay?”

“Mm-hmm. Can I watch TV?” She tilts her head to the side, making use of every child’s trick to getting what they want. “Please?”

“If you keep it on low volume and actually eat your breakfast, sure.”

“Yay!” She hugs his legs and he ruffles her already messy hair in response. “You’re the best.”

“I know you’re only saying that because I said you could watch TV, but that does actually mean a lot, you know?” These words don’t reach the energetic kid who’s already placed herself in front of their television, but it’s okay. He’s mostly talking to himself anyway.

 

Jake does actually feel like the best, or at least pretty damn close to it, as he successfully manages to feed Olivia a bottle and then transfer her to the babysitter, make coffee and serve Leah some toast with jam all without anyone getting angry because things are taking too long. He never thought he’d find anything to top it, but the pride he feels watching his oldest child showing and explaining the pictures of her favorite book to her baby sister entirely of her own accord is infinitely better than what he’s ever felt after having solved a tough case.

“Thanks for letting me sleep, babe.” Amy sneaks up on him from behind, pressing a grateful kiss to his cheek.

“You deserved it. They’ve both had breakfast, and there’s fresh coffee, too. I almost considered making pancakes, but then I figured you’d love me more if I refrained from burning down the kitchen, so there’s toast instead.”

“Oohh, wow. Dream husband.”

“Dream wife.”

“Guess we’re a good match, then.”

“Yeah.” They’re standing close together, his arm around her waist and her resting her head upon his shoulders in the satisfactory way only the height difference between them allows, neither of them wanting to look away from their kids in this rare perfect moment of bliss. “I guess we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and that's it!
> 
> kudos and comments give me life. hint hint.
> 
> thank you so much for reading. I truly love this fluffy fluffy fic and I'm beyond happy with how it turned out. I'm not going to continue to the story, but if I have ideas there is sooome chance I'll post a seventh chapter with odd moments jumping back and forth. later, when I no longer have four essays due in the same week. and when I'm finished crying over the wedding episode because we all know there will be TEARS. 
> 
> fun trivia;  
> -I was genuinely stressed out over whether they were going to have a second daughter/son and what they should be called to the point where my best friend had to help me make the decision because I was panicking??  
> -I HAD to come up with a storyline for Jake to name a kid Nakatomi because I watched the episode where he mentions it recently and was like "ohhhh right" so I made up a bet cause it seemed... in character.  
> -I was editing this chapter when the cancellation news hit. that's not fun trivia I guess that's just sad trivia soz  
> -writing this fluffy fic is honestly therapeutic for me. thank you for reading it as well. <3


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